Insidious (2010)

So here I am reviewing a modern movie, oh look at me! Well I've been absent so it's time to catch up and reviewing old movies needs context and history so let's start with something we all know.

Spoiler free version.

Insidious is a movie with two distinct halves, really distinct, like Hitchcock's Psycho. The first is creepy and builds slowly (insidiously) with lots of shock value from sudden loud noises (the modern way it seems) and the odd visual surprise. The story is simple enough, a family move to a new house to build a better life and things just seem to get worse. Weird but not awful things seem to happen until the boy in the picture above goes into the attic (of course the attic) and falls off some wooden steps while trying to turn on a light. He falls into a coma from his injuries and Mom gets depressed while Dad just hangs out at work having a snooze. Then Grandma arrives and changes everything. . .

After 53 mins it stops being 'Paranormal Activity' (without Katie Featherstone) and becomes Poltergeist (1982) meets The Omen (1976) with things like The Shining (1980) and more besides thrown together with some steampunk and more audio visual cliches. I will be honest with you, the first 53 mins had me looking over my shoulder. The second half just came as a light relief. Together the two halves make an enjoyable experience but despite the early scares you emerge unscathed and just maybe a little sad. My score out of 5, an admirable 3. Half a movie well worth watching.

Now for the spoilers - look away now if you haven't seen it.

Let's be honest with ourselves, Oren Peli is a producer on this film so the fact it starts like a 'Paranormal Activity' film is no surprise. It's the fact it deteriorates into derivative nonsense that really shocks. The first 53 mins are SO scary, long silences, open sequences, nothing happening but expectation then something followed by nothing again. As the tension builds to it's climax (that's half way through remember) we start to see scary stereotypes but by now we're so scared it seems right. I was checking around me at this point, expecting to see almost anything but then the secong half arrives. Babs Hershey is a star, no doubt about that, and acts as the bridge into part 2. The part that hopes you've never seen an original horror film before. I liked the 'Ghostbusters' and their make-shift equipment combined with their 1950's dress and comedy stylings. Elise herself is very 1950s giving all the new characters a cohesion but ultimately it looks a bit "Be Kind Rewind' with the old movies being re-enacted with children's toys and cheap effects. As we go overload into cultural standards and cliches it becomes predictable and unsurprising, a total change from the first half but totally negating any problems sleeping after watching. Quite handy really.

The bits I liked best were the interplay on the baby monitor, again, not a new concept but scary nonetheless. I also loved the mise-en-scene. Seriously. Look at the screen, what do you see? A load of junk but in the right light maybe something scary? If you do don't be surprised if that very same scary thing you thought you saw arrives. It was there in the mise-en-scene. If anyone reading this does not know what this is, it refers to the setting up of the scene, the background, the objects, the lighting etc. For instance, doesn't that jacket and hat hanging behind that door look like a 1950's schoolboy? Next up a 1950s Schoolboy is running around the house, laughing at us. Doesn't the way those pictures, cupboard door and shadows look like a gas mask? Within five minutes Elise has donned a gas mask. Got it? Right. They are actually showing you what will be up next in the design of the shot. It's a cool trick which prepares the mind to accept ideas, it's not new either but still works. The same could be said of the jump cuts. Often a jump cut expresses the passing of time but here the jump cuts are also preparing us to accept the same technique later, in the underworld, where the dead family's expressions change to smiles in an instant using - you guessed it, jump cuts. I also really liked the use of Tim Tiny with 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips', a truly disturbing song and man who sounds just plain odd. The world's very first modern Goth you know, seriously, he was born in 1932!! Eat your heart out Marilyn Manson!!


Ultimately we spend the last 50 mins of this film trailing through 'homage' to better films that have gone before and just when you think it's over they go a step too far. Obviously unhappy with an ending they choose to step into Korean or Japanese horror territory and give us one last shock. Sadly this new twist is not followed up and the film just peters out like a 'Two Episodes Of M*A*S*H sketch. With no-one bothering to write an ending it's much less satisfying than a Joe Wilkinson and Diane Morgan sketch though as there's no laughs or scares. You just think to yourself, "Wow, an hour ago I was really scared - what happened? Am I watching the same film?". It reminds me a great deal of the Doctor Who episode 'Hide' which is set in the 1970's and features outdated equipment being used for high-tech supernatural research and ultimately the second half of that story is a disaster too.  Wonder where they got the idea from?

Still, at least they didn't stoop to tying a rope around Patrick Wilson before he entered Orpheus' Underworld, I mean 'The Further'. It could have been worse, like using dolly out zoom in shots like Hitchcock or casting a lead from a 1980s supernatural horror like, I don't know, 'The Entity' or something, that would have been really bad.

Oh, hold on. . . .

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

50's Throwback Comedy Gets Serious!

We start in space where three astronauts are enjoying the view of the sun through the rings of Saturn. Some solar flare activity and suddenly we're in a hospital with the only survivor - Steve (Alex Rebar), Dr. Loring (Lisle Wilson) and a nurse (Bonnie Inch). Steve wakes up and takes off his bandages to see his wounds, goes a little wobbly and chases a nurse. She runs down a very cool looking corridor before bursting through a balsa wood and sugar glass door.

Next thing we know she is dead and now Dr. Ted Nelson (Burr DeBenning), a friend of Steve's, is on the case. He tells Loringthat  his wife, Judy (Ann Sweeny), is pregnant but has had two miscarriages before. He concludes that Steve is degenerating and needs human tissue to survive, and so has a need to eat people!

Sure enough Steve has decided to hide in the woods where he beheads a fisherman and tosses the head into a river where, in another great sequence, it drifts downstream to a waterfall, bursting open as it hits rocks at the bottom.

Nelson has gone home to complain about stuff to his wife. We see some children smoking before going off to play in the woods. As the young girl counts for hide and seek the two boys run off back into town, leaving her there. When she finishes and can't find them she cries out she doesn't want to play any more then comes across Steve. She runs back to the town crying out about Frankenstein while Steve stays there and has flashbacks about his Saturn trip. Elsewhere Ted finds Steve's ear.

A model (Cheryl 'Rainbeaux' Smith) is being photographed by a man in a nice cardigan (Don Walters) and starts complaining at being asked to remove her top.

"Look don't call me 'Baby' ok? I really don't like to be called 'Baby'".

"Ok Honey, sorry, what would you like me to call you, Honey? Doll?"

"Sandra".

He carries on calling her Baby and grabs her top while clearly not photographing her but she pulls back and stumbles onto the beheaded fisherman's body. Ted turns up with General Perry (Myron Healy) to investigate. Steve is now wandering around in the sunset having more flashbacks.

Ted calls home and has a really cheery conversation with his wife. She invites General Perry and Dr. Loring to dinner. Perry accepts before she reveals her mother and partner are coming too. The older couple, Helen and Harold, stop on their way to steal some fruit and become the next victims of monstrous Steve. Judy fears for them as they are late. She discusses Steve with Ted but Perry overhears and castigates Ted for speaking about the subject even with his wife.

Judy tells them they should be out searching  for such a dangerous man, what do they expect? That he'll come knock on their door? So they go off in search once again. Steve is hiding out - in a graveyard. Well of course. He soon finds his way to the Nelson residence though, where Judy is knitting. We hear breaking glass. Judy finds the cat has broken a milk bottle. The Sheriff (Micheal Alldredge) finds Helen and Harold and informs the Nelsons. Steve still waits outside. Ted gives Judy a sedative and heads off again leaving General Perry to guard her. He meets the Sheriff who has realised Ted and Parry know what's going on. Ted tells him it's confidential but the Sheriff carries on.

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. Not even your wife."
(sadly) "You know I'm not married Ted".

Steve meanwhile has decided to go in and have a quick bite, of General Perry! Ted decides to check on Judy. Steve makes a sharp exit.  He's in someone else's house in no time, killing the returning man but the girl  fights him off with a carving knife.

Steve heads off towards a power plant with Ted and the Sheriff in pursuit. They climb a lot of steps. The Sheriff shoots Steve, but bullets pass through him. Steve kills the Sheriff but attracts two security guards. Steve attacks Ted but ultimately saves him from falling to his death. The security guards shoot Ted while he's trying to defend Steve and in a rage Steve kills them. He then finds a quiet corner to melt into nothing.

A radio broadcast tells of a new mission to Saturn.

This was conceived as a comedy by William Sachs who wrote and directed it. The title references 'The Incredible Shrinking Man' (1957) and the story 'First Man Into Space' (1959) with the accident in space creating a monster and 'The Quatermass Experiment' (1955) where an astronaut turns into an alien organism.  Much of the humour was cut out by the producers in post-production though, considering a straight horror movie to be more profitable. General opinion seems to disagree and it is not highly regarded at all. Some  funny lines remain but I wonder what was cut. When Nelson tells Loring about his wife's miscarriages he seems to be hinting at an emptiness and wanting in his life. He continues to talk about Steve, his friend, could he really be letting his sick friend fill the void left without children? This seems a long shot.

Our young girl screams 'Frankenstein' referring to the monster (Steve) but unlike the creature from Shelley's tale, Steve did not save the child and really does mean people harm. While Steve's victims remain mostly comedic, the Nurse, The Fisherman and The Old Couple, the situation becomes very serious. Even the Fisherman's body appears to grip Sandra's ankle in it's lifeless hand.

Only the final couple have any severity about them and while the man dies off screen Nell's run to the kitchen and frantic blocking of the door has real tension. She then waits with the carving knife as he circles the house in true horror fashion before coming through the window.

The sequence at the end  has Steve throwing Ted off of the building but a clinging Ted brings out memories in Steve who redeems himself by saving Ted. Ted tries to save Steve but dies in the attempt, is this because of his actions or due to Steve haing become his 'ward'? Does Steve then react from anger? Instinct? Vengeance? Also Ted had mentioned that as Steve melts, he gets stronger - yet he curls up and dies at the end? I presume there were answers which got lost with the comedy.



I would have preferred for once not to see Cheryl Smith topless and would have preferred Sandra to have fought for her rights more. I would have preferred Ted to be a little happier sometimes and less one dimensional. Rick Baker's make up was excellent and there are some good sequences scattered through the film. Cheryl Smith scores any film extra points too although overall it could have been shorter.

Maru's Score 5/10

After Dusk They Come (2009)

Alien v Predator with a twist!

Also known as 'The Forgotten Ones'.

Not a lot of people seem to like this movie, or video should I say. Jorg Ihle directed this piece which at it's end they decided was not good enough and promptly re-made it just one year later allowing this to go straight to DVD. Oddly the user's reviews on IMDB show the remake to be even less popular than this original version!

We begin on the Greater Antilles Islands in 1922, where a group of people are being harassed by an unseen force, they are murdered and mutilated and our one survivor gets trapped in a clearing but gets her knife stuck in some bamboo. After the credits we meet our heroes, first Liz (Jewel Staite) to the strains of 'One Of These Days I'm Gonna Change My Life' then her once wayward boyfriend Peter (Justin Baldoni), his friend Jake (Kellan Lutz), Jake's ex Lauren (Nikki Griffin) and her current beau Ira (Marc Bacher). This unlikely group have borrowed a boat to make a three day trip to a party.

We now get treated to a party montage on the boat with everyone having a good time despite displaying their petty jealousies and squabbles. Jake still wants Lauren and resents Ira while Peter is still getting calls from Cyndi despite trying to stay loyal with Liz, who becomes sure they are lost and tells Peter, but being who he is he asserts control. When questioned as to who is ringing him he doesn't tell Liz, but throws his 'phone overboard.  At this point Liz suspects he may be cheating. Again.  Lauren assures her she should be planning a wedding.

People have complained that the acting in this film is poor but I found I couldn't stand anyone but Liz almost immediately and this made the latter parts of the film quite pleasant. So the boat is wrecked and they all arrive perfectly well on an island. Many of their important belongings wash up with them too, although Liz is upset at her new hairdryer being ruined. The radio still works so they contact Mo, the boat's owner to collect them. He claims there's land at their co-ordinates but will come anyway.

Liz has a run in with a creature when she tries to rescue the raft, although whatever it is remains unseen. Peter is unmoved by her claims. She goes off and bizarrely a farting noise has been added to her toilet scene. Very unnecessary. I assume at this point they had given up on the film. Whilst gone Peter reveals his reason for secrecy and proposes to Liz with a message in the sand and a ring made from grass. He claims this was his plan all along and has lost the original ring in the accident. Liz is very pleased.

They awake to find Peter missing and a trail of blood leading to the forest. After Jake threatens Ira with a gun to stop him going for help, our intrepid four go into the forest in search. Whilst in the forest Lauren becomes convinced they're being stalked. Correctly, I may add. Monkey/ wolf type figures with dreadlocks move about in the darkness of the forest and soon Lauren walks into a trap. Jake tries to rescue her before she is taken and Ira goes after her. Liz and Jake stumble across the camp we saw in the opening sequence and discovery a diary telling us about 'The Forgotten Ones' which leads to a flashback full of exposition. Sadly Jake just can't keep quiet and gets taken, only to be returned just seconds later rather badly mutilated. Liz goes off into the forest but can't escape, cut to: Peter, who is fine except for a piece of bamboo stuck in his leg. He takes it out and wanders off only to be caught again.

Liz awakens next to Peter, but this time he is dead and proves it when a bug crawls out of his mouth. Ira is there too, but not for long. Liz however gets up and runs away. They chase but an unexpected run in with some goo means the creatures can't smell her and when close up we can see they are blind or nearly blind at least. Our girl Liz makes it to the beach but finds the raft is gone. Nothing left to do but goo up like Arnie in Predator and go back in to rescue the cat. Newt. I mean the raft.

Everything goes well until she's in the lair and then some rats go and spoil it all. She gets a nick on the ankle and the smell of blood gets 'the forgotten ones' attention. Nice trick with some shotgun shells and a flare gun and we're on the run again. Liz hides in a hollowed out tree trunk which totally confuses her attacker but he gets his own back and steals her trousers. So now she's facing a show down with her foe in just vest top and panties. Eventually we reach the clearing we saw in the opening sequence where a large knife has been left in some bamboo. Can Liz do what our previous heroine could not and free the knife to slay the beast?

Well to be honest, yes she can, beheading the beast and when found by the rest of the group the dead creature's partner is a little upset but the elder grants her respect and they all leave. Liz makes it back to the beach where the boat's owner is trying to contact the group on the radio. She destroys the radio and heads out to sea in the raft.

So why don't people like it? Mostly it seems to be the acting, the fact it rips off Predator, the fact it rips off Alien and the fact things don't make sense. I, however, like Alien and the final sequence where she faces the final battle dressed in her most vulnerable attire is straight from that film. This isn't Alien though, it's Predator but with our hero being a girl, and what stronger filmic image to use when supplanting Arnie for a female than that of Lt. Ellen Ripley? Like Ripley she had to be believable, not a musclebound type but someone we can identify with. So that for me works, even if the forgotten ones do look a bit like Predators too. Why not pay homage to these great films? Why not ask "what if Predator faced a woman?"

It is a shame Peter's role wasn't sorted out. He needed to be written as the guy really making the change in his life and showing us the ring (or Jake) before we left harbour then we'd know where he stood. Either that or with no ring and no intention of marrying Liz and showing the island performance as a sham. Ira isn't really a believable partner for Lauren either and Jake risking his life to go after her when trapped shows more depth than any other time. This film is all about the ending though so relationship development has suffered in favour of party montage and then the whole female Predator thing. It is also true that after Peter had been taken from the beach we really didn't need to see him again until the cave. It seems a little self defeating to smash up the radio at the end too, surely Liz not helping her chances of being rescued from what they call a raft but I would call dinghy at best and not taking the beast's head as proof of what happened was just careless. Oh, and the dusk doesn't seem to bother them at all.

I think the moral of this story is that sometimes we have to go through terrible times to find our strengths and independence so that we may grow and find ourselves a better place in life. I could be wrong though, there's no guarantee Liz ended up anywhere better or got rescued at all.




I like the film and would watch it again and again with friends. Not one to watch with a partner but a lot of fun and like seeing some great other movies but without having to think too much. Also bonus points for Jewel Staite. With a budget of $4m and a nice trip to Costa Rica for all involved I'm sure they had a great time filming it too, just a shame about the foley editing in post-production.

Maru's score: 7/10